PLUGGING ALONGPosted: July 9, 2015
You might call me a “trip-a-holic”. Boise in February, Palm Beach in April, Peru in late May then Scandanavia and Russia last week. At the risk of sounding decadent, let me tell you…I NEEDED these vacations.
“Vacations from what?” My frivolous friend Faye* in Florida wants to know.
“Well”… I respond, trying not to sound conceited or the least bit agitated.
“A break from all these darn plugs. Do you realize what I endure every morning here in this huge, hideous house?”
Not patient enough to wait for her response I begin my tirade:
Every single morning I drag myself out of bed, unplug my Walkman and Kindle, fumble around trying to plug in the lousy laptop, and head down to the kitchen. There I plug in the coffee pot and while waiting for it to decide what to brew, wander over to the den to punch in the TV control. All the while reminiscing to myself about the old days when one could punch a single button under the Magnavox screen and the set would light up to reveal 4 or 5 good, solid channels.
Instead, I first brilliantly make sure the tube is plugged in. Next I press POWER on the remote, followed by TV and more often than not get a response on the wide screen that instructs “Press MENU button if you’d like to watch TV and if not press EXIT.” Call me an idiot…but if I had already pushed POWER and TV would anyone not assume I wanted to watch something on the television??
About now I glance at my wrist and realize as I anxiously two-step around the house that the battery is low on my FITBIT. Where, I ask myself, is the DONGLE? If you are reading this and own a teeny-tiny little DONGLE and know where it is…I am more than impressed. But what I really need is the 4 and an 8th inch black cord which connects my f—ing FITBIT battery to my computer.
Are you getting a charge out of this?
Despite my frantic activity, at this point I feel a chill. “What I really need is a warm, mesmerizing fire” I convince myself.
Now…where could the remote control for the gas fire logs be? “Oh! It is right here next to the TV control and the SONIS music gadget. Great. But which is which and where are my glasses?”
It is now nearly 7 a.m., I am exhausted, but want to catch Matt Lauer reading the morning’s breaking news. I decide to phone my friend Willie* who works at NBC in New York and might give me the back story of what’s really going on in the journalistic world.
“Uh oh!” My cell phone is blinking! Battery is low (2% power remaining) so I must either dismiss the warning and lose connection midway through conversation with Willie*, or plug the damn thing into an empty socket (not always easy to find even here in our faux chateau) and wait to call him later.
Old and restless…I choose to retire to the powder room. As I relieve myself, I can finally relax…breathing in the refreshingly soothing scent of a GLADE “ Cashmere Woods” customizable
“ PLUG -IN”.
*names altered to protect the guilty.