SHOUT IT OUTPosted: May 21, 2012
I have not been “bloggy minded” for the past phew daze as I attended my sun’s graduation from tertiary school. Without degrading him nor me, I will tale you he sometimes studied at the UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA—also touted as “The Ivy League Party Place of the South”…
His claims to fame are he does not drink hard substances, and his diploma states dual majors in Physics and Philosophy—Thy kid you not. And “NO” we smoke neither weed nor crack.
Enough about hymn and thee.
Let’s talk/write again about another favorite—Mr. Clean. While in Charlottesville for the ceremonies, our family lodged at a dorm–not the norm. The sweets were not as nice as those one can find at HOLIDAY INN or DAZE INN or INN AND OUT—but we stuck it out. Wearing the advised “shower shoes” mine adhered to the moldy tile floor so I did jumping jacks and felt fine and fit after a few exercises.
Still, not solo in the lavatory, I pined for Mr. Clean. Recognizing his somewhat soiled past, I had left him in the dirt before heading off to Charlotte’sTown. I focused instead on my squeaky clean son who’d left our immaculate nest and matriculated regardless of the Tide.
I want the world to know that Mr. Clean is a good friend of the Jolly Green Giant—“HO HO HO”.
Despite the fact there is a thirty year age difference, (84 vs.54), they often double date. No, not the two of them—the large green bean escorts Aunt Jemima, while his friend takes out the elusive Mrs. Butterworth.
The Golly Giant was born in Minnesota but at some point must’ve relocated to Manhattan or Queens to have met Mr. Clean. How he got together with Mrs. Butterworth, I have no clue. She appears older, but is careful not to reveal her age. I have tried to find her on Intelius but she seems not to exist. HA! Next I intend to hit Spokeo to pin her down.
Then we have my heroine (NOTE the final e) –Aunt Jemima. When I was young(er) she wore a babushka and looked plumply old. Today when I pick up a box of her pancake mix I notice she has slimmed down, cut her hair, sprung for a perm, nipped, tucked, and whitened her teeth. Actually, black people are gifted with white teeth so she probably just chews “Trident White” after her daily merlot—while I resort to Crest White Strips—a pricey product I will research and blog back to you within the next season.
Truthfully, I relate to the old Jemima. I don’t know why; it could be because one of my high school boyfriends liked her so much. In fact, if and when I toasted myself into beef jerky every summer as a lifeguard, he liked to refer to me by that name…